When we write – and by extension, when we translate – we constantly have to keep the “what’s it for?” question in mind. Is this a manual for maintenance technicians or a user’s guide for lay people? (Look at how successful the Whatever For Dummies books have been.)
And because we know this as translators, “who’s the audience?” is one of the first questions we ask. For example, in a corporate annual report, who is the President’s message for? The obvious answer is that it is for shareholders, current and would-be. But that is not always the real answer. Who wrote it? Did the CEO write it herself? Or did some lower-level syncopate write it? Because it frequently happens that a lackey wrote it to curry favor with the boss – to make the boss look good and feel happy. In which case, the shareholders are irrelevant. It was written for the boss.
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It may be that the client will want to rewrite the source text (if it is that obvious). It may be that you can get permission to cut out the “isn’t she great!” parts and can get clarification on what the CEO would want to say if she were really addressing the shareholders. And at the very least, this conversation has the added benefits of (1) making the client contact more aware that you are doing more than just word-replacement and (2) helping you justify the price you want to charge for this “above and beyond the call of duty” service.